


Dog Years

by I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Insecure!Reader, anxious!steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26416858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend/pseuds/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend
Summary: After Steve rejects you, you start feeling insecure. When Bucky tells him as much he comes to set the record straight.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	Dog Years

“So, how’d it go?” Sam asked excitedly as he and Bucky leaned on the counter on either side of you. 

“He’s not interested,” you informed him matter-of-factly as you sliced an apple with a bit more ferocity than necessary. 

“What?” Bucky demanded in a flat tone. 

“He is not interested in dating me or even going out on a date with me. So thank you both for encouraging me to make an absolute fool of myself.” 

You turned on your heel and headed for your room hoping they would leave it alone. But of course they didn’t. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I need full details.”

“What exactly did he say?” 

“I didn’t realize you two were so interested in my humiliation. I don’t know how I feel about that.” 

They scurried to block your exit. 

“Doll, you know that we care about you. We never would have told you to go for it if we thought for a second he would say no.” 

Bucky stared down at you, willing you to believe him. You knew deep down that they would never set you up, but the rejection was still fresh. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you. But not here. Too many ears listening here. Let me go change and then you two can take me out for a nice breakfast.” 

“Oh we can?” Sam snarked. “Well thank you, most gracious one.” 

“Hey, I got rejected because of you two. The least you can do is buy me some pancakes.” 

Sam glanced at Bucky who shrugged, conceding the point. 

“We’ll be waiting in the car.” 

Once you were seated at the diner in town, you let them see a fraction of how upset you were. They both looked instantly guilty. 

“What happened?” Sam asked softly, placing his hand over yours. 

“I did everything the way we planned. We were cuddling on the couch, talking. And I went for it. I asked if he wanted to go out on a date with me.” 

“And what was his response, _exactly?_ ” Bucky stressed the final word. 

“He told me that I was a really sweet kid, and he wished he could because I’m a great person. But we weren’t right for each other.” 

“And that was it?” 

“I didn’t exactly feel like sticking around after that. I don’t know why you were so convinced he liked me.” 

“Because he does,” Sam assured you.

“He’s just being a stubborn punk right now,” Bucky added. 

“He was very clear. I’m not right for him. But that makes sense, I mean how could someone like me be right for him?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means, I’m just a nobody. He’s Captain America. He’s perfect. Why would he choose me when he could have any other girl he wanted? Someone prettier, smarter, better.” 

“Alright first off. You are not a nobody and I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.” 

“But, I…” 

Sam held up a hand to stop you from talking. 

“Shhh, shhh. Shush. I’m not done. Number two, you are beautiful. Number three you are brilliant. And number four, Steve is far from perfect.” 

“You know that. You’ve seen him at his worst.” 

“It doesn’t matter even if I am all those things, which I’m not. The fact is, he doesn’t want me. It’s as simple as that.” 

They were looking at you with sad expressions, and you were desperate to assuage their guilt. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I took my frustration out on you guys. It wasn’t fair. Look, I’ll be fine. I’m used to rejection.”

Before they could respond a waitress brought your food over and from that point you steered the conversation any direction but towards you. Thankfully, the boys let you get away with it. 

* * *

Once you got back to the compound, you locked yourself in your room and turned on some sad music. Tomorrow you would act like nothing happened and go back to being an avenger, but for today you were going to wallow in the familiar feeling of inadequacy. 

Once the tears started, they didn’t want to stop. You were certain anyone walking by could hear you bawling, but luckily no one disturbed you. At least not until you refused to go down to dinner. 

“Mr. Stark firmly requests your presence for dinner, Miss y/l/n.” 

“Tell Tony he can bite me,” you snapped at the AI. 

“He says that was rude but he still loves you and requests that you come down to dinner.” 

“FRIDAY, please tell the team I think I have a stomach bug and I’m quarantining myself.” 

It was a lie, but the thought of having to face Steve did make you want to hurl. 

“I do not detect any abnormalities in your vital functions. You are not ill.” 

“FRIDAY, please,” you begged the AI. 

There was a pause. 

“Yes, miss. I’ll tell them.” 

“Thank you.” 

You knew you would regret that decision later when you were starving, but if you waited long enough you should be able to sneak downstairs for food. Or you’d make Bucky or Sam sneak you something. 

Turning on the sappiest romance movie you could think of, you let the tears flow as soon as the credits started. The movie was just about over when there was a firm knock on the door. 

“Go away.” 

More knocking. 

“Unless you have food go away.” 

Your door creaked open and you honestly expected to see Nat and Wanda with a pint of ice cream. You were not prepared to come face to face with the man who had rejected you less than twenty four hours prior. 

“What do you want?” 

He smiled sheepishly and glanced down at the tray in his hands. “I brought soup. Thought it might help with the stomach bug.” 

“Thanks. Just leave it on the desk.” He hesitated. “You should skidaddle. Wouldn’t want Captain America getting sick.” 

“I can’t get sick,” he reminded you. 

“Right. Enhanced immune system. How could I forget?” 

“Y/n,” he sighed, putting the tray down on your desk and closing the door. “Can we talk? Please.” 

“About what? You made yourself perfectly clear last night.” 

“I don’t think I did,” he argued. “Please, sweetheart. We need to talk. Especially if what Bucky said was true.” 

“And what exactly did he say?” You asked in a tired tone as you sank back onto the bed. 

“May I?” he gestured to the space next to you and you nodded. “Y/n, he told me that you think the reason I said no last night is because you’re not good enough for me. Is that really what you think?” 

“Yes. That’s exactly what I think.” 

“Where did you get a crazy idea like that?” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“Yes!” he almost shouted. “Y/n, it has nothing to do with you.” 

“Oh it’s not me, it’s you?” You scoffed bitterly. 

He exhaled sharply, “Will you please just hear me out?” 

“Do you not like spending time with me?” You asked in response. 

“I love spending time with you.” 

“Are you not attracted to me?” 

“Of course I’m attracted to you. You’re beautiful.” 

“Do I have some quirk that you find too irritating to deal with a daily basis?” You rattled off the question as you thought of it. 

“Sweetheart. Y/n. I want nothing more than to date you. But we aren’t right for each other.”

“Why?”

“I’m way too old for you.” 

You snorted, convinced he was joking. When you realized he was serious you gaped at him. 

“Are you shitting me? Really? That’s the argument you’re going to go with? You’re only four years older than me!”

It was his turn to gape. 

“I’ve been alive for ninety-nine years.” 

“You’ve only been _living_ for twenty-nine. Jesus, Steve, you were frozen for seventy of those years. They don’t count.”

“They count for everyone else.” 

“I am _not_ everyone else. I don’t care about what year you were born in. I care about _you._ ” 

“I care about you too. You make me happier than anyone else I’ve ever known. But that’s why I can’t be with you. I would end up hurting you.” 

“Why do you assume you would hurt me?” 

“Because, even if you want to argue that I’ve only been living for twenty-nine years…” 

“I do.” 

“Regardless. I’ve aged in dog years since I came out of the ice. The shield might be a symbol of hope, but I’m not. I’m bitter and broken. You deserve someone better than me.” 

“There is no one better than you,” you whispered. 

“You have this image of me. You think I’m this ideal… this golden boy. But it’s not true.” 

“I’m not getting my image of you from newspaper article or Smithsonian exhibits. Steve, I was there after Siberia, in case you forgot. I’ve seen you at your worst. And I love that part of you.” 

“How can you?” 

“Because I love you. All of you. The real you. Not some idea of you. You have had the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long. All I want is to be the one who reminds you that you don’t have to bear it all by yourself. You’re human. I want you to remember that.”

“All I can bring you is darkness. You deserve light in your life.”

“And you don’t?” 

“Not at your expense. I have seen evil and no matter how hard I fight I can’t beat it.”

“You are so dramatic. I’m not some starry-eyed school girl who’s afraid of the dark. I have fought with you, Steve. I have been right beside facing that evil.” 

“And you are still good.” 

“And so are you.”

“Some days I don’t know why I fight. Maybe it’s just all I know how to do.” 

“I know you. You are smart and creative. Fighting isn’t the only thing you know how to do. If that were true, it wouldn’t matter who your opponent was. You fight because you care. You fight because you’re a good man.” 

“I feel like I can’t breathe. Even when everything works out, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.” 

“That’s because you’ve had the weight of the world on your shoulders for far too long. You can’t protect everyone without help.” 

“I know that. That’s why I came back to the team.” 

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” 

He looked at you with tears in his eyes. The only way you could describe his expression was lost. 

Bringing your hand to his cheek you kissed his forehead, the way he always did when you came back from a hard mission. 

“Sometimes you have to let people take care of you.” 

“I’ve never been good at that,” he admitted quietly. 

“Well, despite what they say I firmly believe you can teach an old dog new tricks.” 

He sniffled out a laugh. 

“Thought you said I wasn’t old?”

“I mean if we’re going by dog years,” you shrugged, making him chuckle. 

He was quiet for a long moment, digesting the conversation you expected. 

“I still don’t think I’m ready to date you,” he mumbled.

You were unsurprised by the conclusion, but you were grateful for his honesty. 

“That’s okay. Just let me be here for you then. I already told you. _You_ are what’s important to me.” 

He looked at you with watery blue eyes, trying to plaster on a smile. 

“You don’t have to be strong for me, Steve,” you said softly as you placed a hand on his shoulder. 

Your words were like a pin to a balloon; all the fight went out of him in seconds. You weren’t sure how his six foot frame curled in on itself as much as it did. But he suddenly took up much less space. He allowed you to position him so his head was on your chest and you could stroke his hair. 

You stayed like that for hours. He would talk about what was bothering him in fits and spurts. Occasionally, you would respond, but for the most part you just listened. It was nearly dawn when he seemed to run out of things to say. His breathing slowed and you were fairly certain he had fallen asleep, so you let yourself relax. You were just about to drift off when you felt him mumble a “thank you” into your collar bone.

“Any time,” you whispered. 


End file.
